Polls: Quiznos Toasty Torpedo

Another poll…but first, a creepy commercial.

We’re getting a lot of negative feedback on the New Quiznos Toasty Torpedo.  Time for a poll to see just how this $5 Footlong rival is doing…


47 responses to “Polls: Quiznos Toasty Torpedo

  1. This commercial is raw comedy. “Say it sexier” lol

  2. I gave it an OK on the poll, but really, mine was good(only after I made it so myself). Better than OK, but not really worth $4.

    You have a $5 version of this? It begs me to ask, is this not $4 everywhere? In south eastern Virginia, we get it for $4.

    I payed $4.33 after taxes today.

    Yea, at $5. I would be livid.

  3. It’s $4 everywhere I think. I mentioned it being a “$5 Footlong rival”. Since it’s being compared to Subways deal. I gave it an “OK” too.

  4. I’m never going to Quiznos again. I was accused of using a coupon for a free sub twice during their “giveaway.” I hadn’t ever used the coupon; but not wanting to cause a scene I paid for the sub. I wasted $5 on a dinky sub and was insulted for my trouble!

    I email Quiznos and they never replied. Thought I would post here to get my pound of flesh.

  5. Yeah Justin…that seems to be the trend. I’ve heard of tons of people having issues with coupons at Quiznos. You should’ve launched the torpedo over the counter. I never realized the amount of venom out there for Quiznos until these Torpedoes were released.

  6. I’m starting to lose respect for Quizno’s. I used to like them but now they’re just being ridiculous. I haven’t tried it and I’m not going to. I know it’s only $4 but it seems like a bit of false or stretched advertising. Didn’t care for their attempt to be sexy/funny either.

  7. So the commercial insinuates that the guy has experimental sexual encounters with a talking oven? Ok.

    I’ve only ever been to Quizzno’s at most 5 times (probably over 7 years ago) and they would always burn the bread, no matter which location I went to. I’ve never been back to one since.

  8. I actually thought it was more like their version of a Jimmy John’s sub. Okay for a light lunch, has meal potential if you add soup. Hella messy to eat, though.

  9. I am disgusted and grossed out each time the commercial comes on. From the shape of new sandwiches to the talk about doing what happened before. There seems to be a huge phallic stupidity going on here. I am totally turned off and will never eat there. Ever.

  10. What’s so strange about the commercial? Folks have to lighten up.

  11. Linda Roseland

    What’s so strange? Well, the commercial strongly suggests that the young man has been sexually active with the oven that is going to toast your sub, too! I’d say that’s a bit strange. If you lighten up that much, you will have no moral value left in the country – or is that where we’re heading?

  12. I took photos of my Quiznos Italian Torpedo and took screen shots of it from the Quizno website. See if you can tell the difference.


  13. Hahaha. Yeah true. It’s all done with the “intent” of being funny. I’m sure that brand of humor doesn’t go well with everyone. That being said, I just saw this documentary about a woman who was in love with her bow and arrow…but then dumped the bow to start a relationship with the Eiffel Tower. Or was it the Golden Gate Bridge? BBC documentaries are bizarre.

  14. Does anyone know the nutritional value of the Torpedoes or where to get the info? I can’t find it anywhere, even their website…

    I had one today and was not that impressed for the price. And they didn’t even ask me what I wanted on it on either side of the oven!

  15. That is the gayest commercial ever. I laughed out loud the second time I saw it.

  16. Loved the commercial! Lighten up you people that are grossed out and feel the commercial is Gay (inappropriate). I love Quiznos and will try the sandwich as soon as I get a chance. Love the dude acting in it.

  17. The people responsible for creating and approving the sale of this sad , little pathetic excuse for a sandwich should be jailed and fined $40,000 each.

    One of these sandwiches does not equal half of a Subway sandwich.

    It’s a breadstick that’s an inch longer than a Subway sandwich. The diameter of the bread is smaller than a hot dog bun.
    It is absolutely stunning that they are charging
    4 dollars for this kid’s sized sandwich.
    Quizno’s should be ashamed of this sandwich.

  18. I tried the Turkey Club and the Italian. I liked the Italian better. I would get the Italian again, but not that often. There is just something about Quiznos that prevents me from becoming a regular customer. It seems like they charge a lot, and skimp a lot. Like, they didn’t put very much lettuce and tomato on it, which is cheap anyway, so why skimp? But they do. Quiznos is just annoying somehow, and a lot of their franchises are poorly run. I went into one once and the guy asked me what goes on the sandwich I just ordered, and I didn’t know because I never ordered it before. It also seems like their sandwiches are never toasted hot enough, always lukewarm. I’m not surprised Subway is beating them because the value there is better. Oh, and I just want to confirm that the bread they put this thing on is teeny tiny. A subway footlong is about twice the width of this thing. I noticed something else weird when I was in there. There are no drink prices listed on the menu at all, so they can gouge you as much as they want for drinks I guess. Another thing: I think their flatbreads are comically small, like bite-size. It’s embarrassing.

  19. Someone here is actually asking about the nutritional value of this sandwich? That’s kind of like asking about the nutritional value in a bag of potato chips with Ring Dings for desert.

  20. who cares about the nutrition of the sandwich? this site is about the commercial… which was just a little tooo out there and suggestive to be funny. “put it in me.” really? in a sandwich commercial?

  21. Sorta a perverted Commercial having a mans voice ask for Scott to stick it in him, then ask for him to talk sexy.

  22. @ Linda & Debi
    Are you kidding me?!

    “This commercial is a signal of the decline of morality in our nation and if anyone lightens up, you’re disgusting and immoral!

    “I will never eat at Quizno’s because their sandwiches are phallic!”

    Yeah okay. When you comeup with sandwiches shaped like vaginas, then go ahead and give me a call.

    And if you’re really worried that you’ll be eating from THAT oven and THAT actor will be working at the Quizno’s you go to, and if you truly believe that he had sex with the oven, then you have some bigger issues you need to deal with.

    It’s called advertising. Get over yourself.

  23. this tastes like poop

  24. The sandwich is good…and the commercial does just that…create a BUZZZ…anyonwe who has a morality issue with this commercial shouldnt even be surfing the web. Its funny and gets you to remember the key points…$4

  25. So wait – seriously, not a soul here gets that it’s a spoof of Kubrick’s 2001?

    Intellectual decline of America indeed…

  26. The commercial is NOT appropriate for families watching TV. All we need is a bunch of little kids running around saying, “Put it in me!” and “Say it sexy.”

    Every time I’ve been to Quizno’s I get a thrown together sub that falls apart the second I pick it up to eat it, plus they were over-priced, so they haven’t made a good impression on me anyway. The commercial just adds to that.

    I’m pretty sure that Quizno’s is already getting complaints pouring in, but if they actually make money off it… then kudos to them and it will prove that “sex sells.”

  27. Quizno’s was completely successful with their commercial. They made a commercial which got everyones interest whether it be good or bad feedback and everyone who has seen it is now talking about it. I guarantee most of the people who were disgusted by it, are going to be the ones who go and get it. They spend a lot of money to make sure that the outcome of the commercial will cause people to get one rather than piss people off and the few they do piss of they don’t really care if your mad

  28. Oh they got my attention alright but all it did was make me never want to eat at Quiznos..I’m all for “humor” in a commercial but this was just disturbing on so many levels…eeewwwww!

  29. Love the Commercial!! The economy needs more humor! We need more like this!

  30. That’s a SICK, SICK commercial! And, I normally like abnormal commercials.

    “Scott, I want you to do something.”

    “I’m not doing that again. That burned.”

    “We both enjoyed that.”

    “Put it in me Scott.”

    PLLEEEAASSEEE… get a room! And, not one that’s on my TV. Is that supposed to make me hungry and want a Quizno’s sub? Argh! Disgusting!

  31. This commercial is hilarious. You people need to lighten up.

  32. Ok

    First: Each person here who thinks that this commercial is selling with SEX is either an IDIOT or a CLOSET FREAK….. This is most obviously using HUMOR to sell.

    Second: All of you insecure Women (Linda and Debi) need to go find a compound to live in. Seriously. Iran might also be a nice choice, though the Burkas sound a bit cumbersome. If your kids can’t survive this commercial morally intact….then you have failed as a parent and as a person.

    Third: Quizno does kinda suck, but I like their flatbread sammies. I haven’t tried the torpedo.

  33. This commercial is wrong on a numerous levels. Ok, its an oven, ITS A GUYS VOICE. This commercial is as gay of a commercial as I’ve ever scene. ‘Stick it in me’? Intentionally holding it like a phallic? A guys voice telling a guy to ‘say it sexier’? BTW I thought ‘Will and Grace’ was a funny show.
    On a not so gay note, I saw the size of this sandwich in a posted picture. The image in the commercial is very misleading. You’d have to get a five year old child’s hands on it to look like it doe in the ad to match the diameter. Maybe they used Subway in the ad…

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  35. The Quiznos near me @ US19 & Alderman in Palm Harbor, FL has amazing service. Nazir runs that franchise, and I have nothing but good things to say about them.

    I have been to Quiznos branches and had (expletive deleted) service/burned subs before. You can get that kind of service anywhere people don’t care about their job, or when the customer is a dick to the staff… and from the sound of some of these comments, there are some real (expletive deleted) that come into Quiznos ordering food.

    As for the commercial, it’s humor and I think it’s funny. It’s very edgy and I’m sure the humorless out there won’t appreciate it. To those who aren’t going to eat at Quiznos because of the service, you may want to try a different location; and if you don’t still want to eat there, I understand. For those of you who won’t eat Quiznos because they saw this commercial on TV, take the stick out your (expletive deleted) and lighten the (expletive deleted) up.

  36. Apparently, ultra-conservative types make me curse a lot. Oops 🙂

  37. Dave Daveofferson

    The commercial is hilarious and the sandwich is pretty damned good. I’m a pesto and ciabatta freak though…

    To those offended by the commercial and spouting about the decline of Western Civilization, you’d be well-served to stop being so afraid of the world.

  38. “This commercial is as gay of a commercial as I’ve ever scene.”

    I love how this commercial is bring the homophobes out of the woodwork. Your seriously concerned about he sex of the toaster????

    “BTW I thought ‘Will and Grace’ was a funny show”

    This is like saying ” I can’t be racist, I thought The Cosby Show was funny”

  39. To be fair to Quiznos, there are multiple versions of the “talking oven and Scott commercial”. Some a lot more tame than others. I’m not sure if the controversial version was an internet-only viral video or not. Personally I didn’t find this commercial to be offensive at all. I’m not offended by stuff like that. I never realized that posting the video would cause this much discussion. Honestly, it was the first version I saw and I put it up. Since then I’ve seen at least 2 or 3 different tamer versions and they have been shown on TV. I can understand the parody and the attempt at humor. I can also understand that you can’t please everyone and no matter what, someone will be offended. All that being said, let’s judge Quiznos by the food and not the ads.

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  41. I would totally nail that oven!!!!!

  42. She’s from telecommunications – what the hell does she know about marketing?


  43. the commerical is gay…in every kind of way

  44. its so small its rediculaous waste of money

  45. we had a couple the other day , really good ,easy to eat with one hand, what a great sandwich for the little ones to share with out getting crap all over

  46. Mojo Celtica

    A gay toaster oven. What next? Anyway, I was so put off by the commercial I have stopped eating there altogether.

  47. I found the original version of the commercial extremely tacky (and yes, it was broadcast on TV). Even though I have since seen the “tamer” versions, nothing can erase the imagery created in the original, and it colors the whole series.

    I have given Quiznos notice through their web site that I will be avoiding their restaurants for as long as this ad series is running in order to prevent any possible misinterpretation of my patronage as “success” for the ads.

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